{"id":70,"date":"2021-07-26T12:00:00","date_gmt":"2021-07-26T12:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/moneywithkatie.com\/confessions-of-a-reformed-materialist-eliminating-my-shopping-budget\/"},"modified":"2025-09-05T16:59:31","modified_gmt":"2025-09-05T16:59:31","slug":"confessions-of-a-reformed-materialist-eliminating-my-shopping-budget","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/moneywithkatie.com\/confessions-of-a-reformed-materialist-eliminating-my-shopping-budget\/","title":{"rendered":"Confessions of a Reformed Materialist: Eliminating my Shopping Budget"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"\/<\/p>\n

\n

Whether it was the constant intravenous diet of Keeping up with the Kardashians and Real Housewives growing up or simply the experience of going to an all girls\u2019 high school during my most formative years, I used to be \u2014 by all definitions of the word \u2014 a materialistic person. <\/p>\n

I LOVED shopping. I loved BRANDS. My Louis Vuitton knockoff bag from Limited Too with the repeating \u201cK\u201d initial was my prized possession in elementary school \u2014 that is, of course, until I bought myself a REAL Louis Vuitton.<\/p>\n

And don\u2019t even get me STARTED on how many of those knockoff \u201cPlease Return to Tiffany & Co.\u201d tag necklaces I\u2019ve had in my life.<\/p>\n

My parents were always confused (and a little irritated) by my obsession with STUFF \u2014 they were frugal (and about as un-materialistic as it gets).<\/p>\n

They tried not to enable and support it too much.<\/p>\n

They were materialistic in the GOOD way: As in, they were concerned with the actual, legitimate \u201cmaterial\u201d value of products. The type of people who got each other Eddie Bauer gift cards for Christmas.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s cute, guys,\u201d I\u2019d mutter, \u201cBut where are my new Uggs?\u201d<\/p>\n

I was a monster.<\/p>\n

That monster only intensified when I started earning money and got access to a credit card. <\/p>\n

My biggest temptations?<\/p>\n

Designer handbags, fast fashion, watches, makeup, and skincare. I was obsessed with anything that conveyed even 3 ounces of status, for reasons I still don\u2019t understand.<\/p>\n

I realize now, in retrospect, that a lot of my obsession with brand name goods, trendy clothes, and Chanel makeup had less to do with a wholesome appreciation for luxury goods and more to do with an obsession with conveying a certain image to everyone around me.<\/p>\n

(Shocking revelation, I know.)<\/p>\n

Status symbol aficionado<\/h2>\n

My freshman year of college, I had this fabulous, gorgeous roommate who came from a really wealthy family \u2013 she drove a sporty white Audi, got her hair and nails done regularly, and had a veritable Sephora pop-up shop in our bathroom. <\/p>\n

She wore Tory Burch shoes almost every day (the pinnacle of wealth, I tell you!) and was constantly bringing home bags of clothes from the nicest stores in Tuscaloosa (which \u2014 okay \u2014 let\u2019s be realistic, the pickings were slim). <\/p>\n

I so admired and envied her for the ease with which she acquired new things \u2014 and for how beautiful and effortless those things seemed to make her life. <\/p>\n

(The grand irony is that this friend actually had a chronic health problem and ended up needing to drop out of school \u2014 all that glitters is not gold, obviously.)<\/p>\n

I\u2019m clearly oversimplifying the impact that money has on one\u2019s life: But at 18, I saw the girls with David Yurman jewelry, Louis Vuitton bags, and Gucci belts, and I wanted some of that prestige, baby!<\/p>\n

The hilarious part about the specific<\/em> luxury goods I lusted after is that they\u2019re some of the most predictable, ubiquitous expensive shit that women my age wear.<\/p>\n

If you made a mood board of 2015-2020 upper middle class white women, that trifecta of items would undoubtedly be on it.<\/p>\n

Clearly my desires weren\u2019t very creative \u2014 I was just mirroring what I was seeing around me.<\/p>\n

So how did I go from chronic over-shopper obsessed with name brands and spending money on status symbols to obsessive investor<\/em> who spends as little as possible and buys $2 used Birkenstocks off her neighbors?<\/p>\n

Well, the confession worth making first is:<\/p>\n

That obsession is still buried somewhere in there. <\/p>\n

I still pause and admire the rainbow of Herm\u00e9s Birkin bags on Keeping Up with the Kardashians re-runs, and if I see a pair of red-bottomed shoes in the wild, I definitely stop and reconsider my entire FI plan: \u201cI could retire early\u2026 or I could bag that shit and start rapidly accumulating flashy stilettos!\u201d<\/p>\n

I think the only reason it\u2019s been subdued long enough to make solid progress is because I redirected the obsessive energy toward something else: growing my net worth. <\/p>\n

The luxury goods world was one in which I\u2019d never be ahead. Every seasonal release guaranteed that. <\/p>\n

But a net worth goal with a definitive endpoint that signaled financial independence? That was a goal that COULD be \u201cwon.\u201d<\/p>\n

Channeling materialistic energy somewhere else <\/h2>\n

Because trust me, there IS something obsessive about keeping up with the Joneses.<\/p>\n

You\u2019re constantly on the lookout for the next thing \u2013 because as we all know, accumulating new stuff is only exciting at first. She\u2019s a beast that needs to be fed constantly to be satisfied.<\/p>\n

The energy that used to go into researching whether Chanel or Armani foundation was better shifted to figuring out which investment vehicle is more tax-optimized.<\/p>\n

In that way, it\u2019s not so dissimilar \u2014 I\u2019d argue it\u2019s just a more productive use of that energy.<\/p>\n

But something funny happens when you give yourself permission to opt out of the rat race: a sense of freedom. <\/p>\n

It no longer mattered when Chanel launched new makeup products or Louis Vuitton bags popped up on secondhand sites \u2013 so much of my mental energy was now mine<\/em> again. It no longer belonged to leather-bound capitalism. <\/p>\n

The compulsions that used to sink me into wormholes about how to spot fake Gucci belts was now free energy to be channeled toward more productive endeavors with longer-term payoffs.<\/p>\n

When I stopped judging myself on my ability to embody upper class trends, I regained a truer sense of self<\/h3>\n

It\u2019s almost like the rubric with which I measured my worth got a new set of rules: Rules that I was freer to establish for myself.<\/p>\n

I had a few reorienting revelations \u2013 like the fact that, in a lot of ways, having nice things can actually make your life worse<\/a>.<\/p>\n

(Or, at the very least, force inconveniences.)<\/p>\n

But that doesn\u2019t mean the little Real Housewife inside me is totally dead \u2013 she\u2019s just a lot quieter and less persuasive now (probably because I stopped feeding her a steady diet of window shopping and reality television).<\/p>\n

But there are certainly times where I want<\/em> to buy something (I\u2019ve been eyeing platform Doc Marten Chelsea boots for a few days), and I truly don\u2019t know how to spend money on clothes, shoes, or handbags anymore. It just feels wasteful to me now \u2013 like I can\u2019t \u201cunsee\u201d the light. <\/p>\n

The irony that I\u2019ve never had more money than I have now and yet feel truly uncomfortable spending it on things that I wouldn\u2019t have thought twice about two years ago isn\u2019t lost on me.<\/p>\n

Achieving balance with materialistic tendencies<\/h2>\n

The interesting thing I\u2019ve noticed about my own bouts of, \u201cWell, shit, maybe I do<\/em> want these $180 Chelsea boots\u2026\u201d is that \u2013 if I give it roughly a week \u2013 the desire fades. It passes almost completely.<\/p>\n

(Not to the point that I no longer want them at all, but to the point that the compulsive, near-addictive desire goes away \u2013 and I can consider the purchase more rationally.)<\/p>\n

So much of my shopping back in the day was fueled by my animal brain. I\u2019d have this indescribable desire to purchase something as my psyche rapid-fire explored all the reasons why this thing<\/em> would improve me or my life, and it\u2019d be almost impossible to deny. I could make the case for just about anything.<\/p>\n

In retrospect, I can see that that feeling is just that: a feeling.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s an emotion, and emotions pass. <\/p>\n

In no particular order over the last few weeks, I\u2019ve felt that emotion about:<\/p>\n

    \n
  • \n

    White Birkenstocks<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

  • \n

    A new, black Dagne Dover backpack to replace my current one<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

  • \n

    The Doc Martens<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

  • \n

    Gold hoop earrings<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

  • \n

    Those icy diamond infinity bands that Khloe Kardashian always wears<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

    And a few other things.<\/p>\n

    In the moment, I felt positively gripped by the need \u2013 and now, days or weeks later, I\u2019m completely blas\u00e9 about every single thing on that list (except for the Doc Martens\u2026 those still have a hold on me, just not a hold that I\u2019m willing to pay $180 to satisfy).<\/p>\n

    Time is the answer, but so is recognizing that it\u2019s not about getting more stuff<\/h2>\n

    Often times when I talk about this stuff, people direct me to sites like Poshmark to get things used:<\/p>\n

    \u201cYou can save so much on designer goods!\u201d<\/p>\n

    But that\u2019s not the point.<\/p>\n

    The point isn\u2019t about spending LESS on designer goods \u2013 the point is realizing that you don\u2019t NEED designer goods. That they not only<\/em> don\u2019t make you any happier, but in some ways, can make you actively unhappier<\/em> if you\u2019re handcuffed to the hedonistic treadmill, constantly chasing more of it \u2013 even if the handcuffs are<\/em> Cartier.<\/p>\n

    \u201cBuying used\u201d isn\u2019t the solution<\/h2>\n

    If I want to buy a designer handbag someday and I can\u2019t shake the feeling that it\u2019s something I\u2019d really want to have, I should<\/em> be willing to pay full price for that good. If it means that<\/em> much to me that I believe I need something luxurious and unnecessary, I should be willing to pay full price. Otherwise, I don\u2019t want it badly enough.<\/p>\n

    Acquiring more<\/em> of it at bargain prices simply isn\u2019t the answer for me.<\/p>\n

    For me, the answer has always been allowing one week to elapse and asking myself, very tenderly, \u201cWhat is it that you think this thing<\/em> is going to give you that you don\u2019t already have?\u201d<\/p>\n

    I have yet to produce an answer to that question that results in me buying the thing<\/em>.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    Whether it was the constant intravenous diet of Keeping up with the Kardashians and Real Housewives growing up or simply the experience of going to an all girls\u2019 high school during my most formative years, I used to be \u2014 by all definitions of the word \u2014 a materialistic person.  I LOVED shopping. I loved […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":178814,"featured_media":2453,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"si-template-single-post-everyday-spending-and-budgeting.php","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[36],"tags":[45],"class_list":["post-70","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spending-and-saving","tag-everyday-spending-and-budgeting"],"yoast_head":"\nConfessions of a Reformed Materialist: Eliminating my Shopping Budget - Money with Katie<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/moneywithkatie.com\/confessions-of-a-reformed-materialist-eliminating-my-shopping-budget\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Confessions of a Reformed Materialist: Eliminating my Shopping Budget - Money with Katie\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Whether it was the constant intravenous diet of Keeping up with the Kardashians and Real Housewives growing up or simply the experience of going to an all girls\u2019 high school during my most formative years, I used to be \u2014 by all definitions of the word \u2014 a materialistic person.  I LOVED shopping. 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