{"id":331,"date":"2023-10-30T11:01:00","date_gmt":"2023-10-30T11:01:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/moneywithkatie.com\/on-radical-accountability\/"},"modified":"2025-09-03T18:54:03","modified_gmt":"2025-09-03T18:54:03","slug":"on-radical-accountability","status":"publish","type":"essays","link":"https:\/\/moneywithkatie.com\/essays\/on-radical-accountability\/","title":{"rendered":"On Radical Accountability"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n

\u201cSome beliefs that are objectively false can be practically useful.\u201d \u2014Nick Maggiulli, \u201c<\/em>Why Luck Isn\u2019t Real<\/em><\/span><\/a>\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

Most of us probably have that friend that complains constantly about their job. Their financial situation. Their relationship. When you first met them, you probably sympathized. You probably wanted to help! <\/p>\n

Though after some time passed, you might\u2019ve noticed they didn\u2019t intend to do anything about it. They\u2019re still<\/em> working the same job. Making the same financial mistakes. Dating the same person. And they\u2019re still<\/em> complaining about it, making excuses for why improvement is outside of their control. It can be frustrating.<\/p>\n

This is often easier to recognize in others, and harder to recognize in ourselves. <\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n
\n

It\u2019s 3 PM on a Tuesday, and I look up from my computer between meetings and realize I haven\u2019t eaten or consumed water since breakfast. I\u2019m suddenly aware of how hungry I am\u2014and as an extension, cranky. <\/p>\n

In an effort to be as effective as possible with my \u201cdeep work\u201d (thanks, Cal Newport<\/a>), I block off Monday, Wednesday, and Friday each week to maximize sustained focus and minimize interruptions from the outside world. As a result, my Tuesdays and Thursdays usually become back-to-back marathons, often beginning before 8 AM and leaving me crawling across the finish line past dinner time. <\/p>\n

And as anyone who\u2019s tried to cram a bunch of work into a shortened week will tell you, it rarely goes according to plan.<\/p>\n

This meant that\u2014on this particular<\/em> Tuesday\u2014my aspirations for the day had long been left in the dust of meetings that ran on too long or unexpected roadblocks that stymied timelines. Not only had I not finished the work I knew I needed to complete, but a few new<\/em> urgent items had found their way onto my list. I hadn\u2019t exercised, eaten lunch, or prepped dinner as I had planned to do. A load of wet laundry sat damp and mildewing in the washing machine.<\/p>\n

A sense of overwhelm descended swiftly, blanketing my mood in a self-indulgent pity party. Normally, I\u2019d let this mood carry me out to sea and ruin the rest of my day. I had imagined my husband coming home from work, and how I\u2019d lay my corporate sacrifice at his feet: Look at how much I had to do today<\/em>, I\u2019d tell him, Let\u2019s order Popeyes chicken sandwiches and melt into the couch<\/em>, ignoring my own goal for workday dinners to be \u201ccooking nights,\u201d excused by my own poor planning. <\/p>\n

Worst of all, this all-too-common ordeal didn\u2019t initially prompt me to interrogate my own ability to set boundaries or stay focused on the right things. It left me feeling sorry for myself. The experience of falling short\u2014at the end of a day that felt<\/em> unreasonably busy\u2014was (and is) the perfect cocktail for externalizing blame.<\/p>\n

But then I was reminded of something my BOSSY<\/em><\/span><\/a> co-host Tara said a few weeks earlier that had buried itself in my subconscious: \u201cI can\u2019t be around people who aren\u2019t actively designing the type of life they want to live. If you aren\u2019t happy, do something about it.\u201d <\/p>\n

The quote, which seemed to materialize in response to my spiraling, was telling me: You need to take some accountability and interrupt this well-worn pattern.<\/em><\/p>\n

With an arsenal of tools at my disposal, I started with my favorite: I closed my laptop and went for a walk around the block. Finally away from my desk, I was able to engage in my go-to neurotic pastime of wearing headphones while manically talking to myself, so passersby would assume I was regaling a human on the other end of my AirPods with an incredibly detailed version of my to-do list. <\/p>\n

It finally occurred to me that what was bothering me was the way I had allowed the chaos of the day to supersede my other goals<\/strong>: I hadn\u2019t responded to texts. I hadn\u2019t exercised. I was already resigned to the $30 UberEats delivery instead of the chicken breast and brussel sprouts waiting patiently in my fridge. Ultimately, I had created this situation I was now excusing myself for being in, and I needed to stop enabling it to continue.<\/p>\n

Might it have been true<\/em> that I had too much on my plate that day? Sure. Could I have excused my bad mood? Of course. But believing the outcome was my fault\u2014and therefore within my<\/em> control<\/em> to fix\u2014appealed to me more in that moment. Sometimes, this control is a delusion, but one with a valuable outcome: radical accountability. It doesn\u2019t mean you\u2019re necessarily going to retain ownership of every item on the to-do list\u2014sometimes delegating is a way to take control, too.<\/p>\n

This opportunity arises a lot, I think\u2014with disproportionate outcomes in money and career. I needed radical accountability to manage my own stress and mood, but Tara had intended it as a management technique: \u201cIf someone on my team is underperforming, I take responsibility for that. That\u2019s on me. Where am I not communicating clearly enough about my expectations?\u201d <\/p>\n

Surely there are people who truly underperform, though, right?<\/em> I pressed her. <\/p>\n

\u201cWell, sure,\u201d she replied, \u201cbut the final \u2018that\u2019s on me\u2019 is keeping them around once I know that\u2019s the case.\u201d <\/p>\n

Something told me that if I had called Tara up that afternoon and complained about my self-inflicted predicament, she would\u2019ve been straight with me: \u201cI don\u2019t get it. It\u2019s 3 o\u2019clock. What\u2019s stopping you from doing a 20-minute walk and getting a second wind? Go eat a protein bar, drink some water, and get back at it. And next time, don\u2019t schedule yourself the same way. You shouldn\u2019t have been in this position to begin with.\u201d <\/p>\n

Sometimes, the \u201ctruth\u201d won\u2019t be as useful as the delusion that returns your agency to you. Maybe the challenge in your life, finances, or career that\u2019s souring your outcomes really isn\u2019t<\/em> your fault. <\/p>\n

But if believing it\u2019s within your control allows you to change it, this approach says, that would ultimately generate a more favorable outcome, no? If you don\u2019t like something in your life,<\/em> it says, do something about it.<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u201cSome beliefs that are objectively false can be practically useful.\u201d \u2014Nick Maggiulli, \u201cWhy Luck Isn\u2019t Real\u201d Most of us probably have that friend that complains constantly about their job. Their financial situation. Their relationship. When you first met them, you probably sympathized. You probably wanted to help!  Though after some time passed, you might\u2019ve noticed […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"featured_media":2492,"template":"","meta":[],"categories":[52,18],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-331","essays","type-essays","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-money-psychology","category-productivity-and-time"],"yoast_head":"\nOn Radical Accountability - Money with Katie<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/moneywithkatie.com\/essays\/on-radical-accountability\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"On Radical Accountability - Money with Katie\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"\u201cSome beliefs that are objectively false can be practically useful.\u201d \u2014Nick Maggiulli, \u201cWhy Luck Isn\u2019t Real\u201d Most of us probably have that friend that complains constantly about their job. 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